Or more accurately – Things Strange Men Said
The guy waiting behind me in line for the Ladies Room at a bar: “That was really quick. You’re a pusher.” Simply delightful.
Ex-boyfriend when I didn’t feel well: “Maybe you have your period.” I think I would know.
Ex-boss when trying to improve sales at a high-end department store: “You have assets. Stand at the front of the store.” As a teenager, I actually did what he said.
Electrician, after asking my age: “You look really good for thirty-two.” How should one look at thirty-two?
American friend I made while traveling: “You have tits like a fat girl but on a good body.” Why thank you, how very eloquent.
Different ex-boss whose friend called work and I picked up: “Are you horny?”
Me: “Not anymore.”
Ex-boyfriend: “It’s not the beer that makes someone fat, it’s all the pizza afterwards.”
Random guy on the street in New York: “You got an ass like a black girl.”
A takeout delivery guy on 49th Street: “Hhhhhhssssssssssss …..”
Me: “Are you really hissing at me?” Suddenly embarrassed, he walked faster.
Yoga teacher in India when discussing how parents should interact with each other in front of their children: “What’s wrong with slapping?” He did however have a problem with kissing.
Family member when talking about the lady-boys of Bangkok: “They’re better looking than real women.” My male role model.
Same yoga teacher when talking about sex before marriage: “Without marriage, what’s to stop someone from just taking [sex] whenever they want?” I’m pretty sure that’s the definition of rape.
Republican friend of an ex-boss: “We’ll be the laughing stock of the world if gay marriage passes in America.” Then he said it was likely to cause World War III with the Middle East.
Moonwalk Musing I have been purring down the phone like a cat lately. Everyday I receive a multitude of spam calls on the landline – salespeople calling about upgrading our phone account, political campaigns, insurance companies and menopause packages. Rather than my usual reactions, which include pressing the button twice to cut the ringing short or asking them how they have my number and suggesting that they find a more rewarding career path … I instead to decided to purr like a cat.
That’s right, I pick up the phone, roll my tongue and produce a long “PPPRRRRRRrrrrrrrr……” Satisfying for us both, if I may be so bold.